Monday, October 1, 2012

Hello October.

No words can describe the amount of stress I am currently under. With being on my own for the first time, saving money, working full-time, figuring out what I want to do in life, and having a constant feeling of emptiness, I have a hard time with getting through.

Many people have worse problems, I know this and I understand it. It has been three months since I have seen my therapist, something I have been hoping to be able to handle. Recently it has been clear that I cannot make it without a little help, someone to talk to who has to listen. I feel like I can't tell everything to the people I am around on a daily basis.

The number of people I can go to and trust has diminished recently, which is one of the hardest realizations I have had. I can't bring myself to open up as easily anymore, every time I do I feel as if the person just disappears.

I opened myself up so much to someone this summer, it was supposed to be a fantastic friendship, but now I realize just how little we actually had in common.

This weekend was filled with more stress than I've felt recently, the only solace I found came from my nightly bubble bath. Working at a coffee shop is relaxed, until the weekend comes. Every weekend morning the entire world decides to come into the coffee shop. I let the stress get to me too much.

I hope that through the next couple days of work, and two days off at the end of the week, I will be able to work through what is really bothering me.